Naija Diaries: "Madam, You Dey Hold Am?"

So I am currently in Nigeria with my family and I will be sharing some of my hilarious and bizzare Nigerian experiences with you all here.

Ok, so a few weeks ago, I accompanied my husband to get his car washed at the car wash company close to where we live. While waiting for our car to be washed, we decided to buy something from the supermarket. As we were jejely holding hands and walking past a police station, a policewoman who was obviously jobless as she had no serious crimes to fight on the streets of lagos, decided to mock/mimmick me. She looked squarely into my eyes and said "MADAM, YOU DEY HOLD AM?" whilst placing her hands around her arms. As if to say I couldn't walk on the street by myself without holding my husband. Did I say husband? I believe I did. For clarity purposes, I said HUSBAND, not boyfriend.

Someone please explain this to me or ask this police woman what exactly was her problem? How is holding the arm or hand of my husband a crime and how on earth does it affect you? What is wrong with holding the hand of a spouse you are in love with? Is it that uncommon in Nigeria? From what I have observed, so many marriages are under fire. A lot of spouses here in Nigeria are "suffering and smiling". Marriages are constantly breaking down and disintegrating in Nigeria. So isn't it nice to see a couple walking together hand in hand? I love seeing love. Unfortunately, societial pressures make women in particular keep up the pretence that they are happily married. A lot of married women live like single mothers because their husbands are busy hotel hopping with one ashawo to the next (I'm not trying to be funny here, but, as long as you are sleeping with a married man, my friend, you are an ashawo, all that pretending you are doing in church doesnt change that fact, ok!). Some women are really frustrated and it is quite sad to see. So here I am, a mother of three, WITH my husband and the father to all my children (like it should be - and as it is in most progressive countries) and you want to tell me you have a problem with me holding his hand on the road? So what if I do? So what if I want to feel his heat while we walk? So what if I want to feel protected on the streets of Lagos? Who better to protect me than my very own husband? It really rattled me for a moment. I was so surprised and a little embarrased, I just smiled and kept walking with him, but two seconds later, I wanted to turn around and give the woman a piece of my mind! Thank God I now know how to control my tongue when I am around people and I dont throw temper tantrums. Thank God for maturity to walk away from nonsense. Thank God for teaching me to pick my battles wisely. Was she worth the hassle? No. Was she worth this post? Yes.

xoxo