At first I thought this is hilarious. Agreed, people do "rush" to get married soon after they find out they are pregnant, especially in our culture because you don't want to make a mockery of your family name neither do you want to look irresponsible in front of your parents. You kind of want to show them that you didn't just get knocked up by some random fellow. And although you should be happily married before the pregnancy, getting married soon after finding out you are with child is more like damage control. Having said that, I also appreciate that there are couples who are not entirely sure they want to spend the rest of their lives together but they happen to fall pregnant unexpectedly and still marry (sometimes the wrong partner).
After seeing the lighter side of her comment, I realised that this is probably a personal attack on someone she actually knows. Now that will surely sting. I remembered seeing pictures recently of a mutual acquaintance who I only just found out she has just concluded her pretty baby shower (after announcing her inconspicuous wedding), and I somehow wondered whether that was a direct jab at her, and if so, let's discuss.
First of all, I am inclined to say, Girl, WHAT IS YOUR BUSINESS MADAM POKNOSER? Who made you judge and jury over someone else? How is it of any concern to you that a woman goes quickly into a marriage because she doesn't want her child to be born out of wedlock? Does looking down on her add any value to your own life? We all know that when her child grows up, her child too will do the math his/herself and would not judge her. Why? Because in her child's eyes, she did what she felt was best given the circumstances and so far, she has probably excelled as her role as both mummy and wifey.
We all agree that the traditional and right/straightforward way of how life works is, you study until you reach a certain level of achievement, you spend years working on your career while also praying for your Mr Right to find you. He does, you date, you get married, you lose your virginity, you have 2.5 children and then you live happily ever after.
Wellllllll Aunty 'I never face my own life issues', life doesn't always work out the same for everybody. Yes, my goodness, I agree, that is the ideal exemplary life for any person, but just because their life wasn't as black and white and paper planned like you would expect, it gives you no right to judge their life choices especially when they are not hurting anyone or hurting themselves. At least be happy for them that they are finally making the right choice and doing what ought to be done. I just have to add in here that just like any other family, sometimes even when you follow the right route into marriage and forever after, that same marriage could still end up in divorce. Do not judge when you do not walk in their shoes. For example, the young lady who is in her thirties and successful in her own right who rushed off to get married whilst pregnant could have been with her man for over a decade. What do you know? Before placing judgement on her, did you for once consider that she might have put her wedding plans on hold for the sake of them both building their careers? When you see a lot of single mothers out there, don't judge their life either because you dont know her own story. Is it so bizarre for a woman to chose marriage over singledom? It's not like a woman in her right senses will decide to MARRY a man she only just met or had been dating for a couple of weeks just because she is with child?
Remember what I said in a post a few months ago about being your sister's keeper? This is a typical example of what I mean. Total "hateration". Rather than saying that, how about seeing the wedding for what it is. Two people who LOVE each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together. We all know getting married is the easy bit. Staying married is hardwork and contrary to popular opinion, staying married is even harder when children are involved.
I'm just going to end by saying this. Look out for your sisters, support them, and encourage them. Stop looking for avenues to laugh at them. Usually, they don't care and yor opinion doesn't affect them neither does it put food on their table. So don't be bitter. Don't take Panadol over someone else's headache. Face your own life. Sometimes I find that one's complete negativity shown towards another human is usually an indication that they themselves are unhappy with themselves. The answer is always within.
Be Inspired
xoxo
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