There is so much debate about being a working mum. Most of the debate is developed in my head and usually, that is where it ends.
I am all up for working to set a good example for the kids to follow. Working and achieving lifetime career goals is just ultimate in terms of your kids wanting to aspire to be like you. Working is great because it helps set your children up for life. I still strongly believe that when parents work and take care of their children, they are able to provide a better life for their children.
This post is not to reiterate my last post on working mums, but to take a little look at the other side. The other option. Why do some women chose NOT TO work.
I did a little personal research and asked a few friends who are non-working mothers. That's not even the right terminology because every mother works 24 hours a day 7 days a week and with no pay rises, bonus, breaks or anything. lol. One in particular stood out to me. She said, I am not working because my son needs me. Well, surely, her son is only 1 and a half. But she didn't mean that. She returned to work when her son was 6 months old, so she didn't wait around before returning to work after the birth of her child. But she chose to stop. Maybe it didn't make financial sense paying so much money to keep her son at a nursery when the money she is earning is not as much as the one she is paying at nursery.. No. That was not it either. Her husband is always there to subsidise and help where he can. She explained further that she wants to have a positive impact on her child. The world out there is big. Larger than we think and there are so many outside negative influences that he could easily pick up on. Working is great but when your child is placed in an environment when he is picking up on every little negative behaviour, she wanted her impact as a mother to be stronger than any outside influences. So once it is in him, and he is ready to start school, he is already exhibiting characters of greatness and wholeness and completeness. He will be ready. One of her examples were, she didn't want him picking up bad characters or horrible words from his peers. He is only 1, so i didn't see that happening any time soon. But her vision was for the long term and not the short. Of course she has bonded with him, so she didn't have any anxiety issues lurking around. As he is growing, he is learning. She wants to be his first and only teacher for as long as she can. Now, most will think, well, that is silly. I didn't see it that way. She was looking more at her child, as a person growing up to be an outstanding member of his community, Firstly by training him the best way she can. I thought it was so poignant. Her choosing not to work for now 1. Didn't mean she has no intention of working in the future. She will and she is currently self-employed and working on her clothing line. 2. It didn't mean she doesn't want what is best for her child. She would love for him to grow up to be Obama. So she will give him the best. Giving him the best doesn't mean she will be extravagant and spoil him with money, irrespective of what she has. financially. She also knows she can still be a positive role model to her son because of who she as his mother and who she is raising him to be. Kids will always be kids, they are sometimes challenging, and yes, they do misbehave but they never forget the things they are taught. The Bible says we should teach kids the way they should go. When they grow, they will never depart from it. How will her son not have aspirations in life? He will because she will instill it and place it in his heart. 3. It didn't mean that she couldn't provide the best for her child. He is only 1 and she and her husband are already giving him all he will ever need. And the same will apply for the future.
I found her train of thought so profound because she was more concerned about the well-being of her child. Endeavouring that she has time for her child when he needs her, and not just when she is less busy. Time which we will all watch pass us by.
I noticed that when you are working, you are constantly trying to prove yourself worthy of that job because you know that there are quite a few people queuing up to take that position. So for example, when her son was ill, she felt uncomfortable leaving the office, to go home to attend to him. The next day, he was the same. Yet, she still dropped him off at the nursery knowing that she would get another call back. The anxiety and the worry is a lot. Our children's well being, their health, their feelings, should be paramount. She was a little worried that as he grows, his affection will be a little divided because he will have breakfast, lunch and dinner at the nursery. By the time she gets home, she is already too exhausted to play with him and take care of him they way she wants to, because she will be busy trying to put him to bed, so he can wake up early and the same cycle would continue tomorrow, she has to prepare for the next day, she also has to cook, a little cleaning, laundry, and still manage to find the time to have a decent 10 minute conversation with her husband. Before you know it, time will fly by so quickly and they are teenagers, telling you you have no right to take away their privileges just because they got arrested! lol.
So I do get her point. I really do... Working full time with three kids is more challenging than it seems. Through Christ Jesus we are all strengthened.
I still think working and providing for your children is great, but now, I am more inclined to present a listening ear to a non-working mum. The secret to all this is finding the balance.
Maybe part-time, and if not, maybe becoming self employed. The children grow up so fast right in front of your very eyes. And if we do a little maths here, in a day's 24 hours, my kids see me for 4 hours (Monday - Friday). They spend 10-12 hours sleeping and the rest, I am at work. The 4 hours is never relaxed and it is never really quality time spent. It is waking up in the morning, getting them all ready for school/nursery, taking them there, and in the evening, the same applies with regards their bed time routine. I do sneak in a little quality time here and there, but now I am beginning to wonder if it is enough. Is the full 48 hours on the weekend sufficient for the kids? Maybe, Maybe not. But we are surely working on it and we are surely thinking about it.
Whatever you do today, Inspire someone.
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